What a fucking waste of an outfit
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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