He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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