Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
