i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize