Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
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I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
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I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
The adults are the big ones right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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