Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
