she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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