Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize