Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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