No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I yelled at your uterus for you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
