you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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