He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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