Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
