I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
