I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
