Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
