oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
