..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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