Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we should paint friendship bongs
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
