guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize