First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
