you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
how does that bad decision feel?
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