I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
