He kissed a someone with a penis
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
there is glitter all over my balls
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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