Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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