dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
