Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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