really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
