I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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