he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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