I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
