You made me cry and you don't even care
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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