Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
