she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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