I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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