Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
