he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize