It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
