3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
