when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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