Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
