Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
