I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
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oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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