he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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