Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Life without a bra equals bliss.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
