our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So vagazzling was a success
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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