don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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