After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
