false alarm. still invincible.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
