Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
