He kissed a someone with a penis
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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