Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
