If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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