I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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