This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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