i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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