O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
