i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
