I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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