Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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