I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize