Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
