i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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